I have never been to any sort of blogging conference, mostly because I am new to blogging, but also because I am such a “small” blogger, and I just cannot see myself going up to a blogger I admire and just starting to talk to them.  In my head, they will certainly look at me like I have three heads and then ask me who, exactly, I think I am, and then I will simply melt into the floor.

I realize this is all my own drama- I’ve read enough accounts of other people going to conferences and having a very lovely time, so don’t rush to the comments to tell me it would actually be totally fine, I know it would.  I am just admitting my own neuroses right here, because that is what blogging is all about.

ALTHOUGH, the one time I DID meet a blogger I admire, I stuttered and sweated and generally made an ass of myself. I spent at least the next month replaying our interaction over and over again in my head, analyzing every word repeatedly.  The point is, interacting with strangers is not my strong suit.  I mean, seriously, I make J call the PIZZA DELIVERY PLACE, because I am afraid I am going to be judged for my way of ordering pizza.  See?  NEUROSES.

Which means that, given that I know all this about myself, attending blogging conferences might not exactly be the best way to showcase who I am, what with the stuttering and the sweating and the generally making a bad impression.

Anyways- this year, I thought I could put aside all that mess and actually go to the Blathering, but then I had that damn baby.  And I found that as bad as I wanted to go, I couldn’t leave her and honestly, I couldn’t scrape up the cash for it either (LAX to AUS, why you so spendy?).  So instead of actually going and meeting all sorts of cool people, I’ll just be here in Long Beach, writhing in jealousy.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t PRETEND like I am going to the Blathering, right?  So, here I am, pretending I am going, and recording an accent vlog like the other attendees, so you can hear what accent I don’t have.  You can also admire my double chin, my wacky facial expressions, my overuse of the word “um,” and J washing the dishes in the background.