All right y’all, I have exactly the one hour I have managed to get Olivia to sleep between feedings to get this post out there on the internet. You do know how long it takes me to write my epic rants, right? An hour to come up with the topic, if I’m lucky! What I’m saying is there is not really any way I can get you a coherent set of thoughts (or incoherent, for that matter), so….
Let’s just get to the photos.
Ok, maybe I do have a few things to say about what’s been happening over the past weeks-
Breastfeeding is getting better, but it’s not easy by a long shot. I (as you can imagine), thought I would totally love breastfeeding, and that Olivia and I would gaze lovingly into each others eyes, bonding more deeply than can be imagined by mere mortals. While I totally accept that the above scenario happened for YOU, I really do, it hasn’t been the case for us. It turns out breastfeeding is kind of boring, and since I haven’t figured out how to do in such a way as to leave one hand free, I can’t even tweet/read/pick my nose at the same time. That said, Olivia no longer pulls off my nipple screaming angrily, and I’m slowly gathering that this is a giant victory in the grand scheme of newbornhood.
Sleep is still choppy and not all contained within the night-time hours, but there have been occasional five-hour stretches, just enough to make me think even longer stretches are possible. I know not everyone can do it, but if you can swing it, napping when the baby naps really has been the only thing getting me through the day.
Just so that this entire post doesn’t read like a PSA against having babies, I will tell you this. Right on schedule, Olivia started smiling at 6 weeks. A wide mouth, dimple hinting, eye crinkling grin. And HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, if that little tiny thing didn’t make me take back every shitty thing I’ve ever said about motherhood. The first time she smiled directly at me, and not at the ceiling fan or the penguin mobile, I burst into tears. Because, you see, I didn’t want to return her anymore.
Baby smiles are surprisingly difficult to capture. Here’s my best attempt. I’m a chemist, not a photographer.
My little family. And proof that I do, on occasion, shower.
I continue to owe a giant thank you to the entire internet for keeping me afloat over the last two months. People in the computer, you know who you are. Thank you.