My Halloween currently consists of sitting on the couch, watching a Law & Order marathon, and studiously avoiding the knocks at the door (in my defense, there was candy, which I set on the porch, but the second set of trick-or-treaters decided the bucket was an all-you-can-eat buffet, and thus there was no more candy, just about ten minutes after I set it out).  I wish I could say the fact that it’s Sunday night is my excuse for being a Halloween non-participator, but honestly, it’s really just me.  I don’t consider myself creative enough to come up with a costume, and the tired sexy-you-name-it store-bought costume doesn’t really appeal.  And while I totally understand why other people enjoy the thrill of being pumped full of fear-induced adrenaline, I’d rather get my endorphins on the yoga mat, so parading around the sidewalks of West Hollywood (where J is tonight) kinda makes me sick to my stomach.

And that’s my list of excuses.

In other news- all y’all who work 40 hours in an office, my hat is off to you.  That shit is EXHAUSTING.  I’ve completed my first week of  computer based office work, and MAN, the only thing I have to say about it is that it’s a good thing this assignment ends in December.  When I last worked those sorts of hours (lo, in ye olden tymes, or, you know, seven months ago), I spent a fair amount of time in the lab, running experiments, dealing with cell cultures, and otherwise wandering around the building.  This job, on the other hand, has me tethered to the computer, or worse, the copy machine, for the entire day.  It’s great experience, I am learning a lot, but DEAR GOD, being low man on the totem pole is hard as fuck.  I get home with a back ache and bleary eyes, looking forward to nothing more than applying my ass directly to the couch and only getting up to then put myself to bed.  All that to say, seriously- hats off to office workers.

And, just to complete this collection of random and disjointed thoughts, today marks the beginning of my 7th week of pregnancy.  Nothing really new to report, other than with the ultrasound confirmation that there is an actual HEARTBEAT in there, the mental fuckery of it all has gone to a whole new level.  I am sure I am not the first pregnant lady to have these thoughts, but bear with me, as this is my first pregnancy, and it’s all TOTALLY NOVEL to me.  Going into the ultrasound, I knew what we were expecting to see, and when, indeed, we saw a tiny but distinct fluttering on the screen, I am pretty sure I said “I love science!”  Because, really.  That thing is 3 MILLIMETERS long, which is smaller than, I don’t know, something really, really small, and it has enough cells that some of them can beat IN CONCERT, while others do entirely different things.  AND WE CAN SEE IT.  Mind, officially blown.

That’s all in addition to the fact that there’s an actual LIFE growing inside me, like, on purpose.  It’s one thing to sort of think about it in the abstract, but to then be slapped upside the head with visual evidence that by next summer, I am going to be a PARENT, well shit.  I barely have the words to describe it to MYSELF, much less J, or, you know, the internet.  I will have to try to think of some, otherwise this blog is going to go downhill, fast.

And finally, thank you to all of you who’ve answered my random pregnancy questions, or otherwise offered advice and support, both here and on Twitter.  It helps more than you know.