One of the hardest things about getting away for the weekend, or any amount of time, I suppose, is re-entry- especially now that I have a kid, coming back to my real life is a jarring return to the world of caring for someone else first, when I spent the entire weekend thinking mostly about how many Starburst I could take from the candy wall without appearing to be a giant hog (I dunno the answer because I only worried about it for a milli-second before grabbing a large handful). So I’m back to starting my day by wiping a butt and ending it by falling, exhausted, into bed at an unreasonably early hour.
Real life looks a little like this, ’round these parts:
J and I realized last night that we’ve had, in the time since Olivia’s arrival, to learn how to APOLOGIZE to each other. Now this sounds like the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard, but it’s true- prior to her arrival, J and I didn’t actually… disagree all that much. I don’t know if it’s because we’re a bit older, or if it’s because J is the most laid back person on Earth, but before, we just… GOT ALONG. We agreed on most topics, and if we ever even got into a “discussion” about something, it would blow over so quickly I can’t even come up with a good example. Maybe that I bought too many shoes? Or that she stayed out too late? Who knows.
Having Olivia, on the other hand, has presented us with MILLIONS of opportunities to both say viciously mean things to each other, but also to apologize, over and over and over again. Now everything can be turned into a federal case (mostly by me, see “most laid back person on Earth”), from the right amount of detergent to use in a load of diapers to the best method for getting this child to sleep, ALREADY. I’m really hoping someone will chime in from the comments to tell me that it calms to a dull roar at some point VERY SOON, because I’m pretty tired of being the crappiest version of myself I can be.
GOD. In more interesting news, Olivia has more or less mastered crawling on all fours, rather than the sort of wormy thing she was doing just a couple of weeks ago. Sure, her knees slide out from under her every so often, but she’s mostly got it, and I am getting more and more frightened of the speed at which she’s gonna start covering ground.
She also eats a PRODIGIOUS amount of food- an entire banana, half an avocado, a pancake. I’ve been making all her food myself, and who knew I could derive such satisfaction from steaming vegetables? Seriously, ya’ll, it’s the EASIEST kitchen related activity I have ever undertaken. You don’t have to season the food! You don’t have to worry about the texture! You throw it all in the blender anyways! I feel so ACCOMPLISHED when I survey my freezer full of Ziploc bags of ice-cube-shaped food, and then, she ACTUALLY EATS IT. I know just enough about toddlerhood to know that this might not always be the case, so for now, just let me bask in my homemade baby food glory.
She also feeds herself- this photo shows the very early part of the process, because LORD KNOWS, no one likes to see a baby with food smeared all over her face.
The BEST development is the advent of the sleeping through the night. And, OF COURSE, once we figured out what it took to make it happen, it became glaringly obvious that we could have been sleeping through the night AGES ago (ok, maybe ages is a bit of an exaggeration. But somewhere around a month, at least, and that’s a SHIT TON OF SLEEP). She wanted to sleep on her tummy, and the only way she could do that was unswaddled, but we refused to unswaddle her, thinking she’d scratch her eyes out, so she started flipping over ONTO HER FACE while still swaddled. So J and I girded our loins and went to bed, ready to deal with hours and hours of crying. Oh HA HA HA, Olivia laughed in our faces, as she rolled onto her belly, scooted herself into a corner, and zonked out until 7am.
It’s still gonna take me approximately FOREVER to catch up on my sleep, but not waking up, at all, not even once, is a GLORIOUS improvement.
Look at my pretty baby:
And now look at what I let her do to her pretty face:
Oh, I know, I know, it’s the first of many cuts and scrapes and bruises she’ll get over a lifetime, but oh, the first one just breaks your heart, doesn’t it? She took a header into a stacking cup, if you’re curious. She forgot about it moments after it happened, and it healed in less than a week, and now she doesn’t fall face first onto her stacking cups anymore, so I suppose everything worked out.
That’s the news from my neck of the woods- how are things on your end?






5 comments
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February 17, 2012 at 5:50 am
Carrie
I found your blog via TJ’s recap and love your writing style. I have two kids, a 6 year old and an almost 2 year old. My husband and I never had a single fight until my son was born. A few “discussions” maybe, but once my son was born it was horrible. I thought our marriage was probably over and I most definitely did not want to be a single mom. Things slowly started evening out, esp when we started getting more sleep. By the time my son was 4 things were back to normal (my son was a terrible sleeper). Then we had to go and have another baby and start the cycle again. Not that I am complaining about that at all. She was very much planned for and wanted.
Your daughter is gorgeous!
February 17, 2012 at 9:27 am
Jess
It DOES get better. Sometime in the last couple months things have really shifted for us. I’ve gone from feeling cranky about everything and focusing on every little perceived flaw to actually appreciating him again and even acknowledging that sometimes he might be RIGHT about baby-related things. It really does suck when you SEE yourself being an asshole and you can’t figure out how to stop it. But it won’t stay that way forever.
She IS pretty. Even with a stacking cup injury on her lovely face.
February 17, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Laura Diniwilk
I am so jealous of Olivia handling the deswaddling so well. Lucy still wants to do baby pushups whenever she is on her belly, and won’t just LAY THE EFF DOWN. So she lays on her back and wakes up 4-5 times/night, or we give up and let her sleep in the swing and she wakes up 2-3 times/night. SIGH.
I love sleeping baby photos so much. She is perfect, cut and all.
February 17, 2012 at 6:06 pm
Jesabes
A freezer full of baby food cubes makes me very happy, too. This afternoon I made a batch of butternut squash and one of carrots and feel so freaking accomplished. And I bought the squash pre-cubed at Trader Joes so all I actually did is throw it in the steamer, then the blender.
Also, I’m not a nice person when I’m sleep deprived. It gets better.
February 19, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Cecile
you actually learned to apologize to J when you were pregnant…and it will serve you well when olivia grows up, is in kindergarden, school, college…heck, happens to your parents occasionally too and not about grandkids! It is all good, really